S01 E17: Nice and Easy

S01 E17

Original Airdate February 1^st, 1986

My in-laws were visiting so I wasn't able to get this up on Sunday, but it's here now!

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Tickets!!

During last week’s episode I kept making comments that Charlie, Rose’s granddaughter, was obviously related to Blanche. This week we actually get a relation to Blanche.

We open on Sophia putting cotton balls between her feet to paint her toenails. I am thoroughly disgusted because feet are gross and I have no desire to see Estelle Getty’s. Blanche comes in just as disgusted as I am. She tells Sophia Lucy will be there soon and it doesn’t look good.

I recently adopted a second dog and named her Lucy. That name is about to be tainted isn’t it?

Sophia: I say, let relatives see how you really live. That way, they don’t hang around.

Blanche’s niece is in town for a college interview and Blanche hopes they go well so she’ll live closer. Don’t worry. We’ll never see Lucy again. She’s going to the island of misfit relatives to join Blanche’s grandson, her never featured sons, Dorothy’s brother, Phil, Rose’s mother, and Coco.

Dorothy storms into the room all freaked out over a rat in the kitchen. Thank God, the B plot is here. Rose is close on Dorothy’s heels because it wasn’t a rat, it was a mouse. Dorothy is clinging to Sophia in this scene. I mean CLINGING to her. Over a rat. The woman grew up and lived most of her life in New York. And as we all know, New York City is know for being completely rodent free.

Rose tells a colorful story about a mouse saving her life. Her pet mouse, Larry, could sense it and refused to walk any further one day. Turns out it sensed the damn broke on their walk. It reminds me of Black Beauty saving one of his owners in a rainstorm by refusing to go on when a bridge was out. Except…like dumbed and more St. Olafy. *Drink for Back in St. Olaf*

Thankfully, Lucy spares us anymore of Larry.

Blanche: Let me get a look at you, girl. Mmm, terrific little figure, gorgeous hair, perfect skin. Just like looking in a mirror. 
Sophia: Get some Windex.

Lucy immediately jumps into a story about meeting a gorgeous doctor on the plane. Sounds like Blanche all right. 

This image just cracks me up...

Lucy wants to go meet her handsome doctor for a date. I recall Blanche’s grandson showed up and immediately left to hangout with some kids at a burger place when he arrived. Must be a family thing. Blanche obviously lets Lucy go because “would your mother let you go?” Who is Lucy’s mother? Charmaine? Virginia? If it’s Virginia, was Lucy tested to see if she could give her mom a kidney? Or is she the daughter of Blanche’s gay brother? He was married to a woman before coming out. We’ll never know.

The next scene opens with Dorothy saying she saw the mouse again. This time in her bedroom. It’s not like any other man is in there.

Sophia’s not in this scene so I had to pick up the slack.

Dorothy is calling the exterminator, but Rose insists she’ll talk to him. If you think she’s talking about talking with the exterminator, you’re dead wrong. She’s going to talk to the mouse, reason with him. She’s a real Mrs. Doolittle.

A distraught Blanche comes in. Lucy never came home! For someone who takes as many lovers as Blanche, this seems awfully naïve. Unless, Blanche never spends the night with men and just gets in and gets out.

Blanche: I’m going to call the police.
Rose: Oh Blanche, I’m sure she’ll be fine. I mean what’s the worst that can happen to a 20-year-old girl in Miami?

Lucy comes into the kitchen, no one heard her come through the front door, I guess. She gushes about the doctor taking her on a midnight cruise and she’s in lurv. And she’s gotta get ready for her interview.

Rose: I don’t believe it.
Blanche: Neither do I. Imagine, landing herself a doctor, and she still wants to finish college.

Way to promote feminism, Blanche. Rose doesn’t approve of Lucy being out all night with a man she just met. Dorothy doesn’t approve, but isn’t passing judgement. Which, isn’t being disapproving passing judgement? Even if you don’t say anything to Lucy? Also, Rose, remember when you slept with a married man and killed him with your vagina? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Rose asks Sophia if it’s ok to sleep with someone on their first date. Sophia says it’s a sin.

Rose: See, Sophia agrees with me.
Sophia: All I said was it’s a sin. Personally, I’d go back to eating fish on Friday if his holiness gave that one the green light.

Next scene Dorothy and Sophia are playing checkers out on the lanai. *Drink for being out on the lanai* Lucy returns from her interview to tell them she won’t be home for dinner. She’s going on a date with Michael. Who is NOT the gorgeous doctor. He’s the guy who interviewed her. 

Lucy tells Blanche she thinks she’ll be spending a lot more time in Miami. Couldn’t this interviewer lose his job for promising entry into the university in exchange for sex? I mean, we all know that kind of douche baggery happens, but no one is going to comment on that? Dorothy? Blanche? No one? I’ll remember this when a teacher propositions Blanche in exchange for an A in his class.

Michael is going to fly Lucy to the Bahamas. Of course she doesn’t tell Blanche the guy taking her to the Bahamas is not her doctor lover, but a totally new guy. Dorothy has to break the news to Blanche. Sophia calls Lucy a slut in the most matter-of-fact tone I think I’ve ever heard.

Dorothy: That’s not what I meant. Exactly.

So you kind of meant it? Dorothy is just hanging that you there. She does view Lucy as a slut, but she’s not passing judgement remember? I will say, Dorothy does explain the situation to Blanche without injecting her thoughts on it. She just states facts, without following them up with, “she should be ashamed of her behavior.” But well, she doesn’t approve and we all know it.

Dorothy suggests Blanche talk to Lucy’s mother. And who is Lucy’s mother? Anybody? No? Ok.

Blanche says Lucy has always trusted her and she simply cannot speak with Lucy’s mother. Sophia tells a Sicily story and despite the lack of “Picture it” I’m going to start counting these. *Drink for Picture It*

Blanche waits up for Lucy the next night  and she’s got a guy with her who looks like he’s from Miami Vice. 

His name is Ed. Oh dear, not Michael. Blanche brings this up to Lucy. Well, seems Michael was arrested for transporting Marijuana from the islands. Arrested by Ed. Funny that.

Blanche: I see. Well Ed picking up Michael was doing his job. You picking up Ed is something I think the two of us have to discuss.

Blanche grounds Lucy and Lucy storms out because she’s an adult! She is 20, it’s not like Blanche can stop her. Grounding Lucy is an insult to her. Yes, Lucy does need a heart to heart about her behavior, if only so Blanche knows she’s being safe out there. Which, flying to the Bahamas and taking midnight boat rides with men she’s known for hours does not scream safe to me. But grounding her is not the way to get to that heart to heart.

Dorothy and Rose are awake with Blanche around the kitchen table, because that’s what they do.

Dorothy: Honey, you have to understand. Lucy’s experiencing her first taste of freedom. She’s going through a rebellious stage. Sweetie, it’s part of growing up. 

Ok, but is she? Lucy’s 20 and at the beginning of the episode Blanche says she’s looking to transfer to a college, meaning she’s already in college. If Lucy has been at a community college, with no dorms, then yeah, she’s getting her first taste of freedom, but if she’s been at a standard state school, I’m pretty confident she’s gotten a lot of freedom. My guess here is the writers didn’t want her to be 18 because that’s too young, but they went on treating her like an 18-year-old who has left home for the first time.

Rose tells her rebellious teen stories. She climbed out her window and stole her father’s truck to meet Clel Lightener at a bar. I just..Clel? What is a Protestant farm girl to do?

Rose spent hours in her father’s truck, deciding what to do. When she gets the nerve to go in, well, I’ll let Rose tell it.

Rose: …I ran right into Reverend Mackenzie. Coming out of the bar on the arm of Millie Beasley, wife of Emmett Beasley, our town’s most decorated war hero…Reverend Mackenzie made a deal with me. He said if I didn’t tell on him, he wouldn’t tell on me, so I went home. 
Blanche: well, did he keep your secret?
Rose: Till the day he died. Which was two days later. Emmett found Millie and the Reverend skinny-dipping in the church’s fountain and he shot the both of them. A week later, we became Lutherans.

*Drink for Back in St. Olaf*

Blanche tells a real teenage rebellion story. She dropped out of school to be a magician’s assistant, she joined the Rockettes under a fake name, she ran off with a gas station attendant who was 38 when she was 16 to get married in Mexico. *Drink for Blanche’s Beau* She survived it all thanks to her big sister Charmaine coming to get her. So, is Charmaine Lucy’s mom? I always assumed, yes, since Charmaine saved Blanche, and now Blanche needs to return the favor and go get Lucy? But it’s never actually stated. We’ll assume, yes, Lucy is Charmaine’s daughter.

As they get up to leave and retrieve Lucy. The mouse returns. Rose was not able to convince the mouse to leave. She almost had him seeing reason, but he changed his mind.

Cut to Ed’s apartment and he is proclaiming how good Miami Vice is. Blanche and Co. arrive and I am left asking how they knew his apartment? He does say what complex he lives in when he meets Blanche, but I imagine this is not a small apartment complex and going through all the names on doors would take forever.

Rose sits down and pets a fake sheep, stating she likes the apartment. For the longest time I thought it was because of the weird sheep, but it’s because it looks like something out of Miami Vice. Which, is there a weird stuffed sheep on that show?

Ed and Rose bond over Miami Vice. He’s a real dumb dumb.

In the bedroom Blanche tells Lucy that men don’t find her attractive, but rather they find her available. Lucy calls her out because, everyone knows Blanche’s reputation.

Blanche: I do enjoy the company of gentlemen, always have. But I can promise you one thing, Lucy, when I’m with a man it’s cause I like him, not ‘cause I want him to like me.

That’s some sound advice and I am not being sarcastic. Respect is key, Lucy.

Lucy says she was short, fat, with acne, and braces as a child. And when she hit 16 she went from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. In her ugly duckling phase she wanted to be like Aunt Blanche. And then at 16, BAM, the boys started to notice and like her.

Blanche: Honey, you’ve been trying so hard to get everybody to like you that you never got around to liking yourself. And if you don’t like yourself, you can’t respect yourself, and if you can’t respect your, neither can anybody else.

Put this shit on a coffee mug!

Blanche asks Lucy to come home because they still have a week before she has to leave. How many interviews is she doing? As they leave Ed asks if he can give her a call sometime. He was absolutely not referring to Lucy, but to Rose. Because Miami Vice is life. He wants her to come dig through Don Johnson’s trash with him.

In the next scene Dorothy is ready to kill the mouse. But she can’t do it. She reasons with him and he leaves on his own. Rose sees this and tells Dorothy she has the Gift. Dorothy sends him out a hole under the sink that exterminator said the mouse got in through. Soooo, an exterminator came out and didn’t exterminate?

The episode ends with Lucy leaving and Blanche telling the girls she told Lucy some of her stories about men are just that. So, was there more of that conversation than we saw? Because Blanche didn’t say anything like that. I suppose I’m dumb for even wondering.

Shady Pines, Ma: 
Blanche's Beaus: 1
Back in St. Olaf: 2
Picture it: 1
Out on the Lanai: 1
Weddings: 
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