Shady Pines, Ma

  S01 E03 Original Air Date September 28 th , 1985 Ya’ll ready for this? Today’s topic is sex. Widowhood sex. Oh yeah. We start the episode with Dorothy and Sophia playing Gin Rummy. On the lanai of all places. *drink once for being on the lanai* Blanche busts up the party with a classic sitcom plot. Her date won’t go out with her because his brother is in town and his brother needs a date! *drink once for Blanche’s beaus* We are starting early and starting strong on the drinks today. Anyway, Blanche invites Dorothy, but Dorothy is busy playing Gin Rummy with Sophia. She’s determined to win against her for the first time. In thirty years of playing this with her mother she hasn’t won once. I fail to believe this statistic, because as my high school German teacher used to say “even the blind hen gets the kernel once.” Not to be deterred Blanche turns to Rose who conveniently enters the scene when Blanche needs her. Rose: I don’t think so, I’m not that interested i...

S01 E02 Original Airdate September 21, 1985 Let’s just start this episode with a drink. Wedding is in the episode title and the whole episode revolves around a wedding, no need to beat around the bush. *drink once for a wedding, in fact, make it one whole cocktail or three shots because wedding for days* Dorothy is all panicked because she thinks her daughter is lost on her way to visit. She’s “just terrible at giving directions.” But Blanche points out that she gave Kate the directions and Dorothy makes a dated joke about Rand McNally. Us youngsters use Google Maps now, Dorothy, Google Maps. Dorothy is being a real jerk to Blanche and Rose because she’s anxious to meet her daughter’s boyfriend, who she’s been seeing for a whole six months. I’d also like to point out we have no idea how old Kate is and we never will. I suppose it doesn't matter, but six months at 21 is different than six months at 31 in my mind.  All Dorothy knows about this guy is that he’s a do...

Picture It: Miami 1985-1992 I fucking love Golden Girls. It is a known fact about me. Coworkers, family members, friends, complete strangers are well aware I love this show. It premiered before I was alive. It ended when I was 5, but I loooooove it. When the syndicated episodes began to air on Lifetime I would come home from school and watch the two episodes they aired. Homework was for nerds. Golden Girls was for winners. I had a friend in high school who would marathon this show with me. In college I would watch late at night, because this term paper can wait, Blanche might sell the house! There are better written shows with way less continuity errors out there, but this is my favorite show. Which is why I am going to rewatch the whole series and share the experience through this blog. And I'm going to make a game out of it. A drinking game, because that's always appropriate. For anyone in the know there are certain repeated aspects of Golden Girls that are pretty we...